The Three Amigos – The Intuitive Self

The Intuitive Self

I promised a series on The Three Amigos – The Aware (Mindful) Self, The Intuitive Self and The Creative Self and how, between the three of them, we can create a remarkable life.

So, as promised here is the next in the sequence ‘The Intuitive Self’. A good friend of mine recently described me as a seeker. I like that. Moreover, I think it is true; I am always seeking spiritual adventures and experiences. The downside is that I can be easily distracted, however in this instance, that distraction has brought something I think is going to be valuable for many of my readers.

Many people are interested in their intuitive experiences, and it doesn’t matter if you consider yourself to be a spiritual person or not. Belief in anything beyond you and what you can prove to exist isn’t necessary for your intuition to thrive and be a big part of your life. Many of the most successful people advocate the use of intuition, even at the highest level of business and decision making.

Let’s crack on with the juicy stuff.

In my seeking and my distraction, I came across a book called ‘The Practice of Ally Work’ by Jeffrey Raff. The book does have a strong spiritual element, but the principles can apply to the ‘selves’ work I’ve spoken about over the years. The basic idea is to use writing as a medium to communicate with your ally.

Building a relationship with your many selves is an essential part of this process. In the same way that you would expect to give energy to a new friendship if it is to thrive, you need to do the same when working with your inner selves. A system that enables you to create a regular dialogue with your intuitive-self or any other ‘self’ provides a useful way to build that relationship.

Some Simple But Important Guidelines

Before we get into dialogue work with your intuitive-self, it’s going to be useful to understand some simple ways in which to recognise your intuitive voice over other voices. The dialogue process will help with this but there are some clues to look out for and some rules to apply if you want to succeed and minimise the risk of making silly mistakes.


  1. Your intuitive self is a compassionate, non-judgemental self.
  2. If you try to use intuition to pry into the lives of others, or as some ego-based party trick, you will fail.
  3. Information from your intuitive self is likely to come in the form of non-linear, abstract and symbolic information.
  4. Intuitive information comes quickly, and so we need to pay attention and be mindful to spot it.
  5. Intuition can be a physical feeling, emotional feeling, a thought, a sound, an image, an unexplainable sense.
  6. Using logic and intellect will be a part of the understanding of any intuitive information you receive.
  7. Using mindfulness, intuition and logic together will keep you from making silly mistakes

Dialogue with your Intuitive Self

It doesn’t matter what ‘self’ we wish to dialogue with, this process can be helpful with any of your inner selves. However, some more challenging ‘selves’ may benefit from the guidance of a mentor or therapist with the training to support the work. For this reason, I advise that you stick with the three selves in this series.

The first and most important step is to set a scene conducive to the work. Switch off phones, computers etc. that may cause a distraction. Pick a time when you won’t be called upon for other things.

Create a space that will be a unique space for you to share with your three amigos. Imagine it’s a special day for one or all of your three amigos and make a special effort for them. Set the mood, with music, lighting, scents or whatever would work for you.

Have a designated journal for this work and set yourself a bit of regular time to do the job. I would suggest every day but certainly no less than once a week. The more you do this; the more powerful and beneficial the experience is likely to be.

Please don’t expect instant results; you wouldn’t ask someone to marry you or have babies with you on a first date. You are building a relationship, getting to know your intuitive self, it’s likes, dislikes, it’s preferred ways of communicating with you.

There are four stages to the process:

  1. Meditation – Placing yourself in the most relaxed and open position you can achieve to do the work that follows.
  2. Setting a clear intention for the dialogue
  3. Allowing the experience to unfold without judgement
  4. Reflecting on your experience, what you noticed about it, what you learned from it.

Stage 1:

Meditation – Take five or more minutes to let go of the everyday stuff that consumes us. You can do this in a number of ways, ask your mindful self to help you, play some relaxing music and just notice your breathing and begin to relax your muscles with each out breath, especially if you are aware of tension in your body, if your mind is active allow the thoughts to pass through with each out breath. If you have a meditation which is familiar to you, use that technique.

Stage 2:

Write down your intention at the top of a new page in your journal and the date.

The intention is fundamental as it acts as a guide and a focus for you and your intuitive self. People find they achieve much better results with a clear intention than without it.

Keep your intention clear, simple and with a single focus. Here are some ideas to get you started in building your relationship with your intuitive self.

  1. Get a clear sense of your intuitive self: Its name, gender and physical form.
  2. Ask your intuitive self to share with you something that would help strengthen your relationship with it.
  3. Ask your intuitive self a meaningful question relating to you or your life.

Stage 3:

One of the hardest elements of this work is to allow yourself the experience and without judgement. Not everything you experience or write down will be genuinely from your intuitive self, this doesn’t matter. Just let yourself have the experience you have and write it down – assess it later, in Stage 4.

Focus on all your senses and experiences, allow them and focus on them. As you focus on your senses and experiences let the words come, in their own time, out of those experiences. This is the process that allows the intuitive, abstract information and feelings to be present, then deciphering that through words and dialogue.

Here’s an example using intention no. 1:

Write down a question that relates to the intention; ask your intuitive self this question in the present tense.

“What would you like me to call you, do you have a name?”

In this instance the most likely response is going to be the actual name, sometimes you may get a memory of a person that shares the same name or some other clue to the name, such as a smell of perfume or cologne that belongs to an individual you know. It may be a familiar human name but it may also be a non-human name. Just go with what comes to you and write it down.

Once you have that name you can ask another question, such as: What do you look like? Alternatively, Are you male or female? Ask questions that help you begin to give an identity to your intuitive self. Each time notice the experience your intuitive-self presents in response to the questions and write that down. Don’t feel you have to achieve your intention in one sitting. It may take several, be patient, allow the dialogue, and the relationship, to develop at a pace that suits you both.

Always thank your intuitive-self, or any ‘self’ you may be dialoguing with, for its time and engagement. In the same way, that you would show appreciation to a friend for spending time with you.

Stage 4:

Reflection is an essential element of personal development. Without reflection we are less likely to improve the work we do. Once you have brought your dialogue session to a close and have thanked your ‘self’ for being part of it, you can then reflect on the dialogue and the experience you have had.

Look at what you’ve written down and highlight anything that stands out as interesting in some way.

Reflect on the way the intuitive-self communicated with you. What was the experience like? How did the intuitive-self feel to you? Were they assertive, confident, soft, direct, indirect? Did they communicate more through words, feelings, images, other senses? Pay attention to what helped the communication, what hindered it? Which elements of the discussion felt more real and what is it about those moments that were different from the rest?

What have you learned from this that could help you do better next time?

Now what?

Regularly developing your relationship with your intuitive-self will increase your understanding and development of your intuition better than anything I can teach you. However, don’t forget your intuitive-self when you are not doing your dialogue work. Think of your intuitive-self often, even ask it to prompt you and remind you to check in with your intuitive-self regularly. Even when you are not formally doing your dialogue work, do it in your head as often as you think to do so. When you dialogue, you can even set up with your intuitive-self a sign that reminds you to check in with them, such as every time I see a … or every time I hear the word… to act as a reminder to check in with your intuitive-self.


Your intuitive self is never wrong. Being very clear and precise about your intention and any question you ask is vitally important, get that wrong, and you’ll be misinformed. If I ask my intuition: “Will the sun be shining tomorrow?” It responds with “Yes it will.” I may get out my best summer frock only to find that it is cloudy and raining, is the sun shining, yet it is, just not in the way I intended when I asked a question that wasn’t well thought out. Be very clear.

Sometimes you may misunderstand an intuitive response. Other times you are not listening to your intuitive self but some other part of you. Remember the intuitive-self can often see a bigger picture and so you won’t know it was right until sometime later. The more you engage with your intuitive-self, the more you learn and develop, it’s that simple. Let me know how it goes.

For my next blog, I’ll be talking about the Creative-Self and then I’ll bring it all together for you in a final fourth blog. Remember you can use this process to help you build a relationship with your mindful-self too. As these three amigos become a regular part of your life and begin to work together, beautiful things become possible.

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